Farming 201......

So you've passed class 101, lets move onto some more advanced techniques......

1. Roundup when used appropriately is always a great substitute for weeding the garden.
2. Do not use point one for killing off bindi's in the grass or around the prized rose bushes. Will lead to a very unimpressed mother.
3. A fresh round-bale is nothing but a great play toy for foals, What do you mean I'm meant to eat it?
4. The higher the value the more likely it is to become the favourite chew toy for the Dachshund pup. - If it's RM Williams it gets moved to favourite by default.
5.  A blue cattle dog can work hard all day make decent threats and be rather imposing, however - get so much as a whiff of a thunder storm and she is trying to get in the house.
6. You can don't need the horse they are up at the fence trying to steal a pat (or your lunch), however when you need them its a different story - they generally pick the corner furthest away to sit in.
7. Crop duster pilots have right of way - they will buzz you while you're checking cotton for bugs, scares the crap out of you.
8. Beware the auto-irrigator, watch where its going and avoid it all costs.
9. Its always the nice, new & expensive toy that gets broken first leaving you to go back to the old one.
10. A Steiger Tractor can out pull a Cat D-5/6 Any day....
11. Never underestimate a horses uncanny ability to tell that it's rocks in the bucket you are jingling to get them to come to the fence.
12. When preg/testing AI'ing always make sure you have at least more than one glove left, punching through the fingers on the second cow in not the most pleasant experience.
13. It's always the sweet and innocent looking calf that you have to watch out for.
14. Always assume no matter how quiet, sweet and/or innocent the calf looks that it will give a well trained SWAT team a run for their money - Learnt that on Dairy Prac
15. Be mindful that the calves in the calving paddock will try and but you as you have one leg over either side of the barbed wire/hot wire. - Again Lesson Learnt
16. Calves will headbutt you if they want to suck on your fingers and you won't let them, where is totally their prerogative.
17. Always make sure the hot wire you have just pulled back is not earthing on the bolt that holds the gate onto the post.
18. The most awkwardly/precariously placed fishing line will always yield the biggest fish - its just retrieving it that's the challenge.
19. Holding welding glass over your eyes when welding in not a substitute for a welding helmet - It's not safe but it does make people look hilarious!
20. If it doesn't fit you're probably not hitting/kicking it hard enough.
21. Hitting, it bashing it and swearing at it don't actually constitute doing something about the problem, it makes you feel better and the repair bill bigger.
22. Be careful when using the whipper-snipper with the brush cutting blade around trees, it prunes really well.
23. You reading the paper or doing that bookwork does not take precedence over the cat.
24. That cat will use your laptop as a bed during winter as the heat vents in the keyboard provide great warmth.
25.  Coky's gates made from brand new barbed wire are nothing short of painful to use for the first six months.

If all else fails here's some humor from GraphJam.com A great and enlightening source of practical yet humorous data analysis, enjoy: